00:00 PROMPT: Knight and Day
00:03 So in this movie Tom Cruise is standing in an airport and he looks like he's spying on Cameron Diaz as she's coming up an escalator and then he appears in front of her and pretends to accidentally knock into her saying that he had been looking at his phone.
00:21 She drops a bunch of stuff and reassembles it.
00:25 He smiles at her and there's apparently like a moment of recognition like they are attracted to each other and he says that you have a smudge on your forehead and she seems crestfallen and goes and cleans it off her head as he walks away.
00:41 Then she gets to her flight and hands in the boarding pass.
00:46 The woman at the gate says that she is not on the flight but she can take the following one.
00:53 She explains well it's her sister's wedding and she needs to get there and the gate attendant says that she can take the 11:50 flight and that'll get her there in the morning.
01:07 Tom Cruise happens to be standing behind her to get on the same flight and says, 'sometimes things happen for a reason' and as she's, as Cameron Diaz is back in the waiting area the gate attendant says 'oh look we've found you a seat.'
01:22 She walks onto the plane and it's empty, save for Tom Cruise.
01:26 And he is sitting across the aisle from her and he says something I think it was she says 'well no wonder the airlines are losing money, this plane is clearly empty' and he asks what's going on and she says that she is going to the wedding and she's gonna be repairing, oh, right, there's the whole situation where she's like taking all these car parts out of her bag during the bag checking and it's old car parts and then she explains to Tom Cruise that she is refurbishing an old car that would have been a present from her dad for her sister and she's gonna sort of give that to her sister for her wedding and that I think is all that I remember about that.
02:17 PROMPT: The Big Bang Theory
02:20 Big Bang Theory, yeah so I was completely worn out by the time this one came on, and I don't really like the Big Bang Theory but um there's someone named Sheldon and there's a group of friends and they have a regular restaurant schedule and now they're going to the restaurant that their neighbor, whose name I think is Penny, is a waitress at.
02:39 And it's Tuesday so Sheldon wants a hamburger and he prefers to get his hamburgers from Big Boy but they are at a different restaurant now and he's complaining about it the whole time.
02:52 And when he goes to order a hamburger there's a list of six or seven hamburgers and that doesn't really work very well for him.
02:59 But he ends up ordering one.
03:01 After they order the food, one of the members of the group, who is a woman, starts to explain something about a relationship trauma and someone says that they're one of the three people, or someone else at the table is one of three people in the country who could follow that narrative and uh that thread of conversation, and that person says yeah, but that doesn't mean that I care.
03:25 And then the hamburger comes and Sheldon really likes it and he says he may have found a new Tuesday hamburger place and that is (all?) I think I can remember from that.
03:34 PROMPT: How I Met Your Mother
03:36 How I Met Your Mother, oh, this is, um, Robert Downey Jr?
03:48 And he is he standing outside with someone who's telling him that his father said that you know it all goes, uh, after a bad start to the day, it's all uphill from there.
04:02 And Robert Downey Jr corrects him and says no it's all downhill, and he says no, no, it's all uphill, everybody wants to be up.
04:08 RDJ says no, no, it's easier to go downhill.
04:11 The guy is an idiot, knocks over his bag on the way out.
04:15 Robert Downey Jr says could you please pick up that bag and he says no, you can't handle other people's luggage at an airport, surreptitiously mixing something up, maybe intentionally, not sure.
04:27 Robert Downey Jr goes through the security line and the security guard looks really familiar, I've seen him in another movie at some point but I don't remember, says he needs to check his bags so he pulls out a Mad magazine and Robert Downey Jr says that's not mine and he says oh it's not, you packed your own bag, and he says 'yes I packed my own bag but that's not my bag' so there's a little bit of a back and forth there and then he pulls a weed pipe out and Robert Downey Jr says that's definitely not mine, I've never done drugs in my life, which is a really funny joke when it's Robert Downey Jr saying it, and then somehow, he gets away with all that, so the guy keeps looking through his bag, smells his clothes.
05:08 Robert Downey Jr calls him inappropriate and he says 'I've been called a lot of shit, but inappropriate, that's something."
05:15 And then, he gets away with it somehow, and goes, gets on the flight, sitting in first class in an aisle seat and the jackass from earlier who knocked over his bag shows up there and proceeds to do a bunch of, a number of boorish things, like throw his scarf over Robert Downey Jr, and step on Robert Downey Jr's armrest and seat and his belly gets pushed into him as he's cleaning off his glasses as the stewardess walks behind him.
05:45 And the boorish guy asks how did you get up here, and the guy says, Robert Downey Jr says, this is the seat that I purchased, and the boorish guy says oh I got upgraded, low class.
05:58 Robert Downey Jr corrects him, economy, and then they part ways for the time being.
06:04 That's as much as I remember from that.
06:07 PROMPT: Brazil
06:08 Brazil, this was welcome after Friends.
06:12 So, Mrs. Lowry, clears her throat and the ma'tre de recognizes her just by the clearing of her throat.
06:21 She's got bright orange red hair and a leopard print, I guess you'd call it a frock?
06:27 I don't know, what is that button downed thing that you wear?
06:30 And an upside down shoe on her head that matches her frock.
06:36 And the ma'tre de lets her through the velvet rope and her son is behind her and the ma'tre de tries to stop him and Mrs. Lowry says 'don't you recognize my son' and he says 'of course.'
06:50 The son is trying to speak to the mother about something but she says yes yes yes of course we'll be able to speak.
06:55 They walk into the main area of the restaurant, there are giant tubes everywhere, this is the motif of the film.
07:02 And she sits down at the table and there's this purple dressed woman with bandages around her face, a purple hat, and a purple floral dress, and another younger woman who I believe is the daughter of the purple woman, who has like an externally girded retainer and seems a little mentally off, are sitting there.
07:30 And Mrs. Lowry and her son sit down and the woman with the retainer offers the son salt right away, and the purple woman tells her, no, no, not yet, not yet.
07:43 The ma'tre de comes up, offers them menus, asks what they'd like, right away, I think.
07:52 And Mrs. Lowry says what do you recommend, no, no, sorry, the purple woman says would you recommend number one or number two, and he says between you and me, number 2, and he goes over to the younger lady, and she asks, and he says between you and me, number 1, oh she doesn't ask, but he tells her.
08:09 And then goes to Mrs. Lowry, and she says the number 8, hell with the diet.
08:15 And then he goes to the son, and the son asks him for the steak, and he says you have to say the number, and he's like I just want the steak, and he says, 'say the number,' and so it's number 3.
08:28 And then they almost instantly come back with the food, which is pretty much indistinguishable, little blobs of goo with pictures of what it should be on top, and then he later goes through and announces each one by its number, and then the item, and then for the son's, he announces 'steak,' in a very condescending voice, and then 'number 3.'
08:54 And the son this whole time is trying to get the attention of the mother; the mother is just sort of just talking with the purple-haired woman about her acid treatments, which is a different way of doing plastic surgery.
09:06 She bristles at the idea that you call him an acid surgeon; you wouldn't call the other doctor a knife surgeon.
09:17 And that's as much as I remember from that.
09:19 PROMPT: The Santa Clause
09:22 The Santa Clause, the Santa Clause' did I mix this up with the Robert Downey Jr one?
09:26 I think I might have.
09:27 Yeah, so, the other one was How I Met Your Mother, that's the Santa Clause.
09:32 You know, I don't, I can't remember if this is the one with Jessica Alba and the other one is the Robert Downey Jr one.
09:43 So I'm just gonna go with this and pretend it's the Jessica Alba one.
09:49 So this dude in a blue button down shirt shows up at an airport, he's in a rush.
09:55 He's not carrying any luggage or anything, he's got, he rushes to the security gate and tries to get through the metal detector after just taking some perfunctory things out of his pocket and he goes through, and he's got a watch and belt, the guy's like have you not been in an airport before, this is the security screener, he goes back through, takes out some stuff, comes back again, there's still some beeping going on.
10:22 He goes, What's in your pockets?
10:24 Change, what does change go into.
10:25 Takes the change out, the security guy tries to direct him to use little buckets rather than big buckets.
10:30 That doesn't really work out.
10:33 He just throws the change on the floor, comes back, and the security attendant is like 'you want to do this quickly?' and he's like yeah I want to do this quickly, I'm in a rush.
10:42 He's like ok take off your pants.
10:43 And he starts to take off his pants and he's like don't take off your pants, freak, and lets him through and then kind of like waves him so then the dude in the blue shirt runs onto the plane and finds Jessica Alba putting her luggage away, helps her put her luggage away.
11:03 He gives her this speech about how he never wants to be stepping-stone guy anymore, but he wants to be with her, and he loves her.
11:12 Something about going to Antarctica, I'm not really sure.
11:15 She says, I'm going to be back on Wednesday and he says, what, Wednesday, and goes what about Howard, and she says have you met Howard's wife, I want to say Marilyn.
11:23 And Marilyn waves, and he says 'Oh,' and at this point it ends and that's all I remember.
11:29 PROMPT: Mr. Bean
11:30 Mr. Bean, another refreshing break.
11:34 So Mr. Bean walks into a fancy restaurant and I forget if he asks for a table or if he's just being sat.
11:42 He sits down, it's a table for one.
11:47 He looks at the menu and is quickly astounded at the prices and then takes all of the money out of his wallet, puts it out onto the table to count it, and then tries to find something that matches, and bizarrely the steak tartar matches, so he orders the steak tartar.
12:09 And then he's offered the house wine and then has just the initial taste of it and then says no, no that's okay, that's enough for me, I'm going to be driving.
12:23 The waiter comes by and places his green table napkin on Mr. Bean's lap, and Mr. Bean starts to play with it as though he were a bullfighter and ends up throwing it onto the next table over.
12:39 Before or after this, I think before this, he's playing with his steak knife, mocking like he's stabbing at people and the woman at the next table looks horrified and later he takes the table napkin, throws it over there by accident.
12:53 He just puts the tablecloth into his neck to try to cover up.
13:00 The steak arrives, and he hands all of his money to the waiter right away, including a very tiny tip, and looks away when he's giving the tip.
13:09 The waiter looks appropriately horrified and then the waiter pulls the cover off and he sees the steak tartar and doesn't realize that it's supposed to be raw, or near raw, and starts sniffing at it.
13:24 And that's the end of that clip.
13:27 PROMPT: Due Date
13:29 Uhh, Due Date.
13:33 This is probably again one of those ones that I mixed up, which one it was.
13:43 I'm just gonna go ahead and say that this is the one where this was an audio clip where a man and a woman, I wanna say that the man's name is Ray, and the woman's name is Coleen, are walking into the airport, and they're standing in front of the security lines and Ray is going through and decides 'oh over there' by around the Asians, and the woman says I can't believe you or something like that.
14:08 Ray goes through and describes that there's infants in one, there's old people in another, and there are Middle Eastern men who are going to be selected for additional screening, quote on quote randomly, and then there's Asians who wear slip off shoes and pack very efficiently and lightly, and he says so that's who I'm going to stand behind; but you don't get to choose between who you stand behind in the airport, but, go on.
14:33 She says that's racist because she has a poor understanding about what racism is and he says no a stereotype, it's just faster, and I think that's the end of what I remember about that, that clip.
14:46 Friends, oh God, uh yeah, so uh Channing, or Chandler, Chandler and Monica are going to the airport to go on their honeymoon, and Chandler, uh Monica thinks it's going to go well and then sees the line wrapped around the block and is very worried.
14:46 PROMPT: Friends
15:05 Chandler doesn't care too much; he's singing Kokomo, Monica finds this amusing.
15:12 She is standing, I think they zoom forward, she is standing in line at the metal detector and someone says will you hurry up and she says, 'I've never set one of these off before in my life, I'm not going to now.'
15:23 She's taking off all of her stuff, then they get, I think they get through there and then Chandler singing Kokomo again and that's about all I remember about that.