Counseling of Couples before Bogadi: A pastoral challenge

Africans believe that Bogadi is PART of the strong value in starting to start a marriage. This concept is challenged by globalization, which is moving young one’s away from African way of living. Tradition informs couples to go through the process of following this tradition without questioning it. They just have to endorse their marriage and be accepted as a married person by the family and community. However, its relevance is fading away in the present society, because it is struggling to accept, expose the pain and issue that is inflicted on couples that are involved in the system. The initial purpose of Bogadi is to extend friendship and build a relationship with both the families and the community. The process initially uses cattle or money, as payment for dowry. However, not everyone owns cattle, so money is used as an option to pay Bogadi.

Families of the bride ask a huge amount of money for Bogadi, which results in couples borrowing money in order to fulfil the process of marriage. This process has produced anger and abuse, especially from the man who is marrying the woman. It finally creates a strain on the relationship and makes the whole process look commercialised. The above finally leads to some couples experiencing struggles that later lead to Gender Based Violence, abuse, divorce, and sometimes death. This research unpacked the beliefs, myths, and all implications and experiences of Bogadi using a qualitative approach to try and understand the conceptions and misconceptions that are in the society on Bogadi and add to the existing literature to guide the church community on the issue of Bogadi. The pastoral elements of this research seek to empower clergy to create a space and bring awareness to those who are affected by this struggle. The process also helps them to journey with them towards healing and wholeness.